Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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