: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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