how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
