so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Another day, another engagement, another cat
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
