i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
pray to the hookup gods
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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