I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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