it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
