She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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