nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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