she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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