I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
