i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
