Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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