Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
