Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
