Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
