Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
