After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
