To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
