I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
