i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
