it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
