i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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