He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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