What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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