And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Enjoy the penises
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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