please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
my being single is dangerous.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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