I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
