My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
