in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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