so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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