if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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