I need help removing her.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
