What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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