I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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