Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i believe in u and ur pee
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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