In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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