Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
