I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she looked like the before picture.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Randomize
