yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
