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She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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