dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
