so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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