The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Couch. On fire.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
