I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
