just come out here and I will go home with you...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
