Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
