new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
