why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
