Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
