omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
