I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
