No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
