I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
